Palatka, FL
Dear Family~
I wish I had more time to write this week, but unfortunately I don't. We are at a member's home using their computer for now, but we are going to visit one of our less-active members who has found herself in the nursing home doing rehabilitation after having endured through her second stroke within the span of a month. Hopefully she will be okay.
I'm staying here in Palatka and Elder Lucas is leaving...
President Barry said he loved hearing my email about the "talking with everyone" thing. He said it was spot on. I think I somewhat slowed down in my efforts--well, I didn't do anything quite as out there as I did last Monday, but I still spoke with everyone I could or that was in my path.
I had a thought pass through my mind today as we played basketball with the District. I noticed that to a small degree everyone looked to me as the one who would lead our team to victory. I have hardly ever played basketball and yet, the eyes were still upon me. The thought came through my mind after we lost our game and as I was going to get a drink. I was already burned out because I stayed up late the night before, I wasn't extremely happy that we had lost and what added to my joy was simply the fact that I really don't love basketball all that much (perhaps because I have yet to view myself as someone who was any good at basketball...). Nevertheless, the thought came, and was quite surprising--sometimes the team captain needs to take it upon himself to gain the victory instead of relying on others to do it for him--furthermore, I had a question come to mind a few hours later--What makes a team captain, a team captain? or, Why are certain individuals chosen to be team captains? Because when others fail, the team captain takes charge and ensures victory for his team and this because he knows he can do it and that it is his job to succeed, and so he does.
I'm still not very good at basketball ball, but I discovered within myself that if I truly wanted us to win, I could make the decision to win, and then make it happen...
I don't want to let others do for me what I can do for myself and have been sent here to this earth to do! I can do it! I am meant to do it! The only thing that has ever stopped me is me! Sometimes reality checks are necessary and I think this may have been one of those times. So the question now comes... What am I going to do about it?
Actions always speak louder than words, and if I ever hope to be great, it will never be because of anything I said, but it will be because of who I am and what I have done to serve others. I have to want it for myself first. Joseph Smith said self-aggrandizement was a true principle, so long as the person helping himself was doing all he possibly could to help others achieve the same. I have spent a lot of time trying to help others change, and to be motivated, but I have yet to allow myself to do what I have been trying to help others do! Of course, in bits and pieces, there have been those moments where I let go, but all and all, I haven't let go entirely...
I need to achieve something and I need to make a difference for others, but I also need to give myself the credit I deserve, otherwise I'll always be miserable. Before I can help others achieve greatness, I first need to start helping myself. Oddly enough, that comes in full effect as I fully commit myself to helping others. Here is my new favorite scripture:
"And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth." (John 17:19 The Savior's words to His Father as He offered the great intercessory prayer). If I want to help others, I gotta help myself.
I hope I am not tiring any of you with all the thinking I've been doing!
I love you Mom and Dad. I love you Aaron, Billy, and Kendall. Tell the rest of the family I love them too. :) And tell them thanks for their emails, they really help and I love hearing from them!
Love~
Austin
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