Testify with Boldness

Fleming Island/Orange Park

Dear Family & Friends~

I'm glad to hear your Easter weekend went well and that you were able to enjoy yourselves and also remember the good times from the past. It is kind of funny, lately I've been getting baseball and football dreams, some nightmares, others slightly less burdening, and others happier--I'm not sure why they are popping up, especially since it isn't like I'm thinking about sports, only in passing do the thoughts come. Perhaps because of spending my entire life playing sports it is difficult for my mind to forget. Who knows. I do notice that the dreams have been showing a gradual change, however, from miserable dreams to happier dreams. Maybe it is a symbol of me letting go of my negative experiences and learning to focus on the better times. I can see that as being true and my dreams aren't fully positive yet because at times I still slip into the habit of remembering the difficulties rather than the joy of it all.

Elder Kiracofe and I are getting along well. He is definitely one of the funnier companions I've had, but for the greater part, he is a very focused missionary. He didn't come to waste time! Which is good because it is nice to be around a motivated person. Interestingly enough, I've noticed that those whom I've been surrounded by are rather cheerful people. In fact, the majority of my District, and even Zone, is filled with missionaries who love to enjoy themselves, but also work hard. The overall attitude of these missionaries is pleasantly optimistic. It feels as though each of us are changing and letting go of the old and allowing the new, happier spirit into our lives. We are unifying little by little. It is powerful to see how things are gradually changing in the mission. I don't know how it works, but the Lord knows what He is doing. So does President Barry.

For Easter we went to a member's home in the other Fleming Island ward. The Kelly's are a great family. They have a couple of kids, one on a mission to South America somewhere and they have living with them another Sister in the ward and her son. They love the missionaries and it is their tradition to always have the missionaries over for ALL the holidays, if possible, especially Easter. We had a great time with them and really enjoyed their company. Also, Brook and Jonathan brought us over a dinner later that evening. I love their family too. It is amazing to see the example they are setting for their family and for the changes that are taking place in their lives. There is an aura of happiness that shines around them. You can see the peace that they feel and their faith is evident. Their son, Michael, and might I add Jonathan as well, received the Aaronic Priesthood a couple Sundays ago. Jonathan was ordained a Priest and was able to ordain his son to a Deacon. Michael passed the sacrament for the first time yesterday. He was a little apprehensive because of the large crowd that came to church, but he did a great job.

...I remembered a quote from Joseph Smith where he said we should pray like it all depends on God and then go out and work like it all depends on us. I think that is the relationship Heavenly Father is trying to build with me, to help me understand it does all depend on Him; however, whether He will work the miracle depends all on my faith and diligence: it is a team effort. In a similar sense it is like asking the other roommates to help clean up as though it entirely depended on them to keep the apartment clean, then to turn around and do every possible thing I can to help keep it clean as well--and then continually reminding them of my need for their support, as well as my continual effort in keeping the place clean. It is the process of uniting independent minds on a single purpose and goal. Seems to me kind of like a marriage of sorts...but then again, I'm not married, so I may not fully understand.

Anyways, I think Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ want me to know that I can count on Them and that if I will trust in Them and do as They ask, I will always be able to rejoice.

Our "finding" is on the upswing. I am learning more effectively how to invite others to learn about the gospel. It can be difficult at times to understand how to relate with people in a powerful way that will help them to feel the truth of the gospel in merely a few seconds. God wants us to rely on the Holy Ghost to testify of His gospel and not to use many words, but to be simple and sincere in brief testimony so the Spirit can shoot straight to the heart of the individual and cause them to feel the truth. We are learning as a mission that it isn't up to us whether or not someone will become converted, but it is up to them, and whether or not they will receive the Spirit we invite. No number or combination of words, no amount of logic, nothing save the Holy Ghost can penetrate the heart in a way that would cause someone to be converted. Up to this point, I haven't understood that principle as well as I thought, and I think to a degree it is one of the reasons "finding" has always been a difficult thing for me to do, but now I am starting to see that God doesn't want me to convince them, He wants me to testify with sincerity and boldness, but simply and briefly so the Holy Ghost can convince them. In consequence of that relationship, it is so important for us to be exactly obedient so we can receive our own knowledge and testimony of the doctrine so we can also testify with greater sincerity and power. I am starting to see President Barry's game plan. He is wanting us to go out and work to convert others, but in so doing, he is helping us to become converted. Mind you, this is a gradual thing!! But it is working. :)

I love each of you and wish you a happy week and look forward to speaking with you again on Mother's Day!

Love~

Austin

Families Can Be Together Forever

Fleming Island/Orange Park
Dear Family~

I don't have much time today and I so wish I had more...but please tell Uncle Mike and Aunt Jenni congratulations on their newest daughter. She is beautiful. Thank you for the pictures. As far as missionary work goes, I am continuing as a District Leader, but am also now a trainer of a new missionary, Elder Kiracofe. He is from Spanish Fork. A wonderful missionary and a great example: I am happy to serve with him. I hope that I can share with him everything I have learned thus far on my mission and give him a great head start to the marvelous work he has just begun. I know he will do well!

These past few weeks there are few things I have thought of more than each of you. I know the time is short that I will return home. Nevertheless, I understand there is much work left for me to do, but I do miss you and I do love you--each of you. I noticed something interesting the other day, that of all the major Church proclamations, the Living Christ and The Family: A Proclamation to the World, stand foremost. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has two great testimonies to share with the world: that Jesus is the Christ and that families can be together forever. There is no more important thing in this world than family. There is no more important thing in this world to me than my family.

I wish I had more time to write, but I am out of time today. Please know that I love you and that I am grateful beyond all things to be a part of our family. I am grateful for everything that each of you do to help bring us closer together. I am grateful for your love and your support. I want to be with each of you forever and I know that through the Savior we can.
I love all of you.
Love~
Austin

Becoming a Professional Chef and Accepting Responsibility

Fleming Island/Orange Park
Dear Family~
I am still going to be serving here in Fleming Island; however, Elder Chadwick is moving on. The district is being cut in half, i.e. the areas will still remain the same; however, we are losing a missionary from each companionship, and also, one of the areas is getting white-washed. It is the Orange Park 1st Ward. They might not even put Elders there this time...it might even be a senior couple, or it might be closed. I don't really know. But I'll find out tomorrow.

Our district, as far as progress with finding people to teach is going, is somewhat remaining the same. We are doing many good things with the people we are working with, but our finding efforts are slim. Our monthly focus this April from President Barry is all about becoming "Master Finders", and doing all we can to find people to teach at every opportunity we have someone to contact. I wish it were that easy. But nothing good was ever meant to be easy either.

I think it is pretty wild that I am going to have a 19 year-old brother tomorrow, another cousin in a week, and a 16 year-old brother in a few weeks. Life moves a little too swiftly for my liking...and I'm not sure why it seems to move fast when you're happy and slow when you're sad, but somehow that is always the way it works! But on another note, life moves fast when you are busy as well. However, if you are busy and you are stressed at the same time, then life seems to move extra-slow. Time is paradoxical. I don't think I'll ever understand...at least for now.

Some kind of fun news...lately I've been a professional chef. From Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cinnamon Vanilla Pancakes to Tater-tot Casserole; I think I'm doing pretty good. I made some hot fudge too and it turned out great, but one thing, I accidentally bought sweetened condensed milk instead of evaporated milk, so when the fudge cooled, that is exactly what it became: Fudge. It still tasted alright, though. I am planning on making Ginger Salmon this week, but we'll see how it goes. Oh yeah, for the first time in my life I made Mac 'n Cheese noodles. They also turned out well, but obviously they aren't too overly complicated to make. I tried flipping an omelet without a spatula once and the omelet landed halfway on the pan and halfway off...so that didn't work out too well. I also flipped a pancake a little too hard on the skillet-thing and splashed myself with hot butter! That was wonderful! :) I think I've also done a fine job of stacking up dishes and utensils in the sink and spent a few hours cleaning up after myself at times. Yikes! Cooking takes a lot of work. But it is a lot of fun too! I think in the not to distant future I am going to make chocolate chip cookies from scratch, which ought to be great. I have been making oatmeal for breakfast almost every day since the beginning of the transfer and I've tried it in many different ways. Brown sugar and maple syrup turns out to be a good combination. Adding vanilla is a little interesting too. Elder Greco, in Palatka, would add yogurt to his oatmeal--I tried it once or twice, but I'm still undecided as to whether or not I like it. Yogurt and granola is also tasty, but for me, I need to eat a lot of it to actually be filled.

Oddly enough, I have been "dying" of hunger almost continually this past month and a half. I can't seem to eat enough food, ever. Yet I weighed myself the other day and I was 188 lbs. I'm also making sure to do a workout of sorts each morning at 6:30 when I wake up. I don't know quite what is going on. Someone suggested I may be growing. That would be cool, but who knows. I don't feel like I'm growing. I just feel emaciated! (Elder McFarland, whenever he sees me has to make sure to point out how skinny I look...ugh... Nevertheless, I feel like I can move around faster, so what does it matter? I love Elder McFarland though...I think he's great!).

Back to the missionary side of things, one lesson I've learned this week, or perhaps am being prepared to learn, is the principle of accountability. Accepting full responsibility for my actions, thoughts and words, for the goals I set, and for the effort to achieve my goals is on the forefront of my mind. Rather than allow my circumstances to determine my effectiveness as a missionary, or an individual, I choose to account for all my efforts, be they good or bad. I know one day I will be held accountable for all that I say and do and become, so why not learn how to be fully accountable NOW! This way I can avoid procrastination and slothfulness. If I want to win, then I must do something about it! Of course, another lesson I am learning about the beauty of accountability, is also how humbling it can be. You have to be willing to account for EVERY action, thought, word, and be willing to ACCEPT all the consequences of what you do and who you are. Despite the pain it can cause within my own soul, I realize that by recognizing my own faults and making the necessary efforts to repay for my wrongs, I am liberated and empowered to be better and to reach my potential. The scary thing about choosing to be accountable is that the Lord will reveal to you as you pray the things you must improve, or change, or repent of--that is where the "humbled to the dust" effect comes into play. Elder Christofferson spoke of this in General Conference when he said that we need to develop the trait of accepting correction and reproof from the Lord, as well as our leaders. OUCH! Or so it seems...

"For whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom He receiveth...[But He chastens us] for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous; nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby."--Hebrews 12:6,10-11

So as we are scalded for our wrongs and as we listen and do what the Lord asks of us, we grow and we receive the blessings of God. I have to go, but tell everyone that I love them and hope that they have a great week! Good luck with baseball, dance, and everything else...
Love~
Austin

Only as we serve do we grow...

Orange Park/Fleming Island

Dear Family~

I don't have much time this afternoon to write, but hopefully what I do write will be meaningful. First off, I love our family. I love each of you and all that you do. I am grateful for the gospel and for the joy it brings to us. I am thankful that we were able to hear our Prophet speak and the Apostles. All the speakers gave me great hope and helped me realize that the glue holding all of us together is a united love for our Heavenly Father, and His Son, as well as a great love for each other. I know that the pattern of the gospel blesses families and that one day it will unite us forever in our Heavenly Father's kingdom. Wherever I go, whatever I am doing, whomever I meet, no matter the circumstances, no matter what, I know that I am a part of Heavenly Father's family and that I am His child, and that we, all of humanity, are His precious children. There is no greater hope that fills my soul than the love I receive from a kind Father in Heaven, and His Son, Jesus Christ.

General Conference was special to me, in that the entirety of the combined sessions felt as though it were a rehash of my patriarchal blessing. I felt that I could see my purpose here on earth and what lies in store for me as I exercise my faith in Christ. The Plan of Salvation was laid before me and I knew that all things are working for my good and for the good of all His children. I learned that pain and affliction is necessary for us to understand and know God, and His love for us, just as it was necessary for Jesus Christ to come to earth to suffer all things so He might understand us and have greater compassion on us. I learned that families can be together forever. I learned that love and service for others and for God, is the promise we made to Him when we were baptized. I learned that God will give me whatever knowledge I may need to accomplish my work here on earth--which work is ultimately His work, even for all who covenant to take upon them the name of Christ through baptism. I learned that temples bring joy to all people wherever they may be and that they are evidence of our testimony of Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father's plan. I learned that as a priesthood holder of God, my duty is to be a missionary through and through and to be converted to the gospel that others may also be blessed.

There are essentially two options we have in this life:

We can lose our lives in the service of others, and of God, and experience joy and happiness and peace forever. OR, we can save our lives in the service of ourselves and lose out on these eternal joys.

"Only as we serve do we grow." is a quote given by the First Presidency of the Church. I liked the quote in General Conference, "as we are an answer to the prayers of others, we will often find answers to our own prayers". Last night I lost my missionary planner. I need to have it or bad things will happen... I thought maybe I left it at the Stake Center in Orange Park, but either way, I couldn't find it. I prayed that Heavenly Father would help me to find my planner before I went to bed, then trusted it would be found. I gave one more search of our vehicle before going to sleep, but to no avail. The following morning I was asked to help get something out of the vehicle on behalf of one of the other missionaries in our apartment, and I did so, though I didn't necessarily want to, but I kept silent and went and did as he asked. As I retrieved what he needed, I sat down in the passenger seat of the car and noticed how messy it was. Disgusted with the mess, and with a desire to be clean for all of us, I grabbed a plastic bag that was resting on the back seat, and assumed the work of cleaning the garbage out of the car. I crawled into the back, picking up water bottle after water bottle on the floor of the car. As I reached underneath the driver's seat to pick up another empty water bottle, my eye caught a glimpse of something between the driver's seat and the console in the middle. Sure enough, it was my planner. The gap is so tiny I wouldn't have noticed it had I not crawled into the back to pick up trash. I know that my prayer was answered this morning--and I believe it was because I decided to help.

Whatever our problems may be, and however difficult they may seem, I trust that as we forget our worries and believe in God and serve His children, all our concerns will eventually be resolved and we will one day become as He is: full of love and justice, and mercy. Our greatest blessings come as we look beyond our current afflictions and reach out to bless another in need of help and love and compassion. Service blesses not only the "helped", but it changes and inspires the "helper".

I am grateful for all of our individual and collective successes, our experiences, the journey we are on together. I think I finally understand that true joy is found in the journey, not simply the final accomplishment. We may not have many to teach now, but that is okay. We can still strive to be a blessing to every person we see, and one day, all things will work out in the end.

Tell everyone I love them and that I wish them well.

Love~

Austin

"No pain that we suffer, no trial we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God...and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we came here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven." -Orson F. Whitney